September 17, 2014

Write Your Mother!

Sometimes you just start writing a post with no direction.  You have a bazillion things running around in your head and you cannot focus it anywhere.

Your mind is on your recruit 750 miles away and on your high schoolers and husband just 2 to 5 miles away.  It is fixed on what needs to be done around the house and still wandering off to what is for dinner tonight.

You do dishes and laundry and home school the youngest while you hope there is mail from your recruit.  You check the calendar and realize it has been two weeks since he has written you last.  The focus is gone... the thoughts just wander too much to really accomplish anything of substance.

Then you go online... which is the WORST thing you could do when your brain is so unhinged.  You close Facebook and try to move on to other things that need to be done.

Today...

I will make yogurt

I will make laundry detergent

I will start a batch of Kombucha

I will make a list in hopes of giving some other direction.
The weather is beautiful, overcast and cooler.
The kind of weather that makes one reflective and thoughtful.

I walked... I read my Bible... I worked in the garden a bit...

tomatillos, tomatoes, jalapenos and serano chilis...

Puttering... seems to be my agenda lately.

To all the mamas who have sent a child off into the world... please tell me the focus returns.  
Please tell me it won't feel like limbo forever.

Filling my days seems to help some... with cooking and baking for others.
otherwise I am sitting and waiting for mail that does not come.  
No news is good news... at least that is what everyone tells me.  The Marine Corps says, "Semper Fidelis"(always faithful)... I say, "Semper Gumby" (always flexible).  

And there you have it... what I really think and feel today.  A post... of no earth shattering importance other than to say...   I miss my boy... and yet, I am so very proud of who he is becoming.  Now, if he would just write me a letter...  

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