July 31, 2015

New Habits and Looking Ahead...

The book I just finished (and reviewed) has sparked some changes.  

Here are some things I have learned about myself in the process of reading this book.... Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin, The following is from my notes:

There are four basic tendencies that most people fit into.  To get a full explanation of all of what I am about to share you should totally just get the book and read, by the way.  LOL  

Four Basic Tendencies

1.  Upholder - meets outer and inner expectations (this is my husband)
2.  Questioner - resists outer expectations but meets inner expectations
3.  Obliger - meets outer expectations but resists inner expectations
4.  Rebel - resists outer and inner expectations (this is my oldest son...  LOL no, seriously, it is!)

I am clearly a Questioner with a little Rebel tendency but Questioner wins out over Rebel if there is a question in my mind between the two.  I always go with my inner expectations.  That tendency of meeting inner expectations for me includes what I feel God is leading me toward in my life.  God and His word are part of my inner expectations.  That is how it works out for me but other people don't phase me... I am great at saying no.  My husband is not so great at saying no and loads his plate to overflowing a lot.  He is drawn toward keeping everyone and everything in balance.  I am willing to let go of a rope if I need to if it is not life threatening... he hangs on with dear life because he is expected to.  It explains a lot about our relationship!  LOL

Once I realized that about myself it has made some other areas of my life make more sense.  As I worked through the next chapter on Different Solutions for Different People I began to see some clear cut lines, too.  My husband and I are often opposites in these areas but here is my list.

*   I am a Lark - I tend to lean toward morning person when allowed to follow my own patterns.  My husband is an Owl but forces himself to work in both zones to get it all done.  I am working on working with my natural tendencies more over this coming semester.  I have already implemented an "earlier to bed, early to rise" policy for me.  I am now telling him that he can stay up if he would like but I need to go to bed.  

*  I am a procrastinator who is working toward being a Marathoner instead of a Sprinter.  Now, this has nothing to do with running... because I don't do that anymore!  Ha!  It has everything to do with how we approach a task.  I tend to put things off but, for me, the most helpful would be to spread out a larger task and eat the elephant one bite at a time.  I have been moving more and more toward this approach over the last several years but I also have an explanation for the procrastination now.  That is coming shortly in this list.... hold on.  

*  I am an underbuyer... I tend to only buy something when I need it and delay spending well (except with books sometimes).  My husband is an overbuyer and hangs onto things he thinks he might need later.  If I don't need it or have not used it then I am totally willing to let it go ASAP.  My husband has been known to hold onto things for the entire duration of our marriage whether he needs it or not.  It is just the difference in our approach.
*  I am a simplicity lover.... the simpler the better.  I don't love an abundance of anything except maybe books but even those are getting culled in the reality of knowing that I cannot read everything so I want to read my favorites.  Less is more for me... I love bare surfaces and empty uncluttered rooms.  I have not been convinced that any of my children are like me in this regard.  It wears me out!  

Ok, are you ready for why I procrastinate? 

*  I am a finisher and not a starter.  I have the hardest time starting a project and often get overwhelmed at the thought of it but once I get started I will finish ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING I HAVE STARTED!  I cannot NOT finish!!!  It is not in me! (with the exception of a book I am hating... I won't waste my time finishing those anymore but I cannot, honestly, say it does not haunt me a little at first) LOL  I love the feeling of finishing... closing a book... getting a drawer cleaned out... finishing a project or term paper... the end of a semester is totally my favorite and so on and so on!  Dan is a starter with a shelf full of started project lists and notebooks but none of them are finished.  God is so funny pairing us together like that.  LOL  There have been times he has had to push me to start and I have had to push him to finish something.  We are a funny pair.  

*  I love familiarity.... this is where Dan and I agree.  We could both watch the same movies, eat the same food, read the same books over and over and over.  New is nice but familiar is our favorite.

*  I am also prevention focused as opposed to promotion focused... I try to make life as comfortable as possible for me and for those around me.  I see the big picture and the problems before they happen.  I love a good well thought out plan where I have contemplated all the fathomable possibilities of what could go wrong along the way.  I sometimes miss things but it is not from lack of trying to catch it all before we start.  

*  I take everything in small steps... EV.ER.Y.THING!!!  Big steps freak me out!

All of this works together to help me figure out how to approach habits old and new.  Knowing that I am a finisher and not a starter helps me to see why I am procrastinating and then I am able to make a marathon plan because I like smaller steps and not one giant big step of sprinting to attack bigger projects and habits in my life.  I do my best work in the mornings so I need to put the harder stuff up front and plan for some downtime and familiarity later in the day.  Since I am a prevention focused person I rely heavily on calendar/bullet journals, list making and planning charts to work out what needs to be done.  Also, since I am an underbuyer, menu planning and list making are my best friends when it comes to getting only what we need for the week ahead for meals or for a shopping trip for a project.  I will locate things off the list I already have around the house so I will not double buy things I don't need.  See... they work together!  It makes me feel less insane for my choices knowing these things and then seeing how the rest of my family works helps us to work together better, too.  

So, today... I am making some plans for August... writing in my Bullet Journal, lists of the books I need to get read... menus that need to be made... planning some bigger cleaning and clearing projects to make my life more simple and familiar.  I am implementing some new habits for a new school year and planning for the kids to have what they need to get back to school in an organized fashion.  

What are you planning for August? Is your mind on the "back-to-school" planning?  Are you changing jobs or going back to school yourself?  What does August look like for you?

Also, do not forget the Austen in August Challenge I shared a few days ago!  I am on the list for hosting a giveaway and if you are not signed up for the challenge on the official post on their website you will not be eligible so go... NOW... and sign up so you can enter my giveaway around the middle of August!  You have to be registered to win any of the giveaways.  Even if you don't read much just enter for the fun that comes with the challenge... but I hope you read, too!  :)

1 comment:

  1. I really enjoyed your comments on Better Than Before - thanks for posting them!